Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

See the world in his eyes by ~Haruko10:iconHaruko10:



See the world in his eyes…
Were there is no rage, prejudice or despise
See the world through eye that aren't clouded by hate.
Where there is only pure innocence and love
When you look through his eyes

Through his eyes you can see misunderstanding and pain.
Sadness and sorrow,
tears of confusion,
Of why the world is cruel and cursed
Of why we kill when we’re all human
Of why we hate even though we’re all God’s children

See the world in his eyes…
Through his pure eyes,
That could teach us all so much; if we were to just open our own.

See through eyes that never were clouded by hate…
How wonderful the world would be if only we were to see with his eyes.
©2007-2010 ~Haruko10
:iconharuko10:

Author's Comments

ok, well this just randomly hit me right now, it's really weird how its been happening but, anyways I was listening to a song called Sadness and Sorrow, ( its played on the naruto series) and i got in a writing mode when all of a sudden my lil bro who has autism came into my room and just stared at me for a little bit & I though "he is my inspiration!" So, yeah I owe it to him ^^;
Yeah, I tried to use the quote from one of my favorite movies of all time,"Princess Mononoke""see with eyes unclouded by hate". And I put the song I was listening to in it "Sadness & Sorrow"
*sigh* I reallly wrote to much, I'll stop talking now.^^;
Like before; please comment and give constructive criticism if you like. thank you

Comments


love 1 1 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnovashadows:
That is really good. My only problem is in the first stanza you have a rhyme scheme of AABCA and then you lose it in later stanzas. Usually, when writing poetry, if you have a rhyme scheme, you should stick with that scheme. Otherwise, that is really really good.

--
Know why the Nightingale sings
It is the answer to everything
~ Nightwish - Know Why The Nightingale Sings
:iconharuko10:
yeah,^^; well like i said before these are just first attempts at poetry, that & i didn't pay attention to it; just kinda wrote it as it came to me^^; thanks for that, I appreciate it!

--
~Sweet sleep.
May I never wake up to this bitter reality.~
:iconnovashadows:
Well, keep practicing and your poetry will get better. I thought that was really good for a first attempt.

--
Know why the Nightingale sings
It is the answer to everything
~ Nightwish - Know Why The Nightingale Sings
:iconnovashadows:
And feel free to message me anything that you want me to proofread.

--
Know why the Nightingale sings
It is the answer to everything
~ Nightwish - Know Why The Nightingale Sings
:iconharuko10:
thank you so much that's very nice of you! :handshake:

--
~Sweet sleep.
May I never wake up to this bitter reality.~
:iconchachasasukedoll:
^^ Another good one
Same advice on the rhyme scheme as Nova said, but it's really SO good, it doesn't matter about the scheme ^^
AWESOME JOB!
Out of all of your poems, this has to be my fave ^^ :dance:
:iconharuko10:
That's very nice of you!^^ :glomp: I'm also glad to hear that you faved it! :boogie:

--
~Sweet sleep.
May I never wake up to this bitter reality.~
:iconkokorotoyume:
That's just how I see things :wow:! (Well, no wonder. I am an Asperger teen.)

Beautiful work! I love it!

:+favlove:

--
"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight."
---President Gordon B. Hinckley, May 2001
I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, then copy & paste this in your signature. <33
:iconharuko10:
thank you so very much!^^ :glomp:

--
~Sweet sleep.
May I never wake up to this bitter reality.~

Details

September 21, 2007
911 bytes

Statistics

25
9 [who?]
188 (0 today)
0 (0 today)

Site Map